avon lady

Well... i dont know if i used to be this batshit crazy... but i am!! ahhhh!!! im going out of my skin and i think i know why. im in my head all the time! all the time!! like since ive become potless... i think way too much, and its getting really annoying. thinking is overrated. i know i need to do it sometimes. more than i was probably... but im an anxious girl! for real! and i dont know if i just got so used to pot that without it... im kind of a mess? i dont know! i mean im not a pothead. i dont smoke during the day. just at night! i needs it. im really just annoyed with myself. i have done so much self analyzing these past few weeks, well i just couldnt be more self aware! i know im kind of in a rut, i get that, and i have some ideas on how to work on it but i dont need to think about it ALL THE TIME but i have been. and im annoyed. im usually fine during the day, its just like at night when im hanging out by myself and watching tv and i really just... think to much. fuck that shit.

I have a funny little anticdote related to all that. At xtinas work, her friend sharon is my dealer. anyway they cant say pot at work so theyve been calling it cat turd, cuz thats kind of what it looks like. but theyve changed it. they call it buying avon and sharon is the avon lady. and she said shes workin on my avon order. so i am pleased. i want to work that into my vocabulary.

Tonight is a good night to be watching talk shows. for real. this sounds really lame but robert pattinson (you know, twilight) was on letterman... and hes a charmer! i never really thought he was all that great.. but yeah i definately wouldnt turn that down. in the bedroom. if we were to bone. BUT ANYWAY craig furguson is on next, and i love him anyway, but as a little added bonus, david duchovney is on! fox mulder in the flesh!!

UHHHHH WELL it took me a minute to get to this.. maybe because my soul is so crushed... but... the cranberries have been cancelled. i tried to find out why but i couldnt. it just happened today. im hoping it gets rescheduled but they said theyd refund money back to my credit card. gross..

but on the bright side... well i was clearly looking for something good on ticketmaster because i was really looking forward to the cranberries and i was trying to find a way to fill the void... and sponge is playing on wednesday for $12 so xtina and i are going to that. it will be fun. its the day before thanksgiving, biggest drinking day of the year. it might be a little bit of a party. im excited. i cant get too out of hand though cuz a, we have to drive home from detroit, and b... i got so drunk last year that i broke off xtinas soapdish in her tub and forgot about it AND the next day i was so hungover i couldnt eat for thanksgiving. so i may be the responsible one. we shall see. im hoping to meet a cute rock n roll boy. a really dirty one.